Andy – part 8
“We’re so proud of Andy” – Andy was loved
JoAnne
and Len seemed surprised when I asked if they were proud of Andy. I
knew the simple answer but I wanted to know “why”. JoAnne was
first to answer “We’re so proud Andy.” Especially proud of what
we’ve learned in the past few days since he has passed.” “He
impacted so many people in a positive way – even in the hospital,
he did not pity himself.” He focused on getting better for Ida. We
were his parents and we were focused on raising him right. As
parents, we never saw the how Andy engaged others as friends. Since
he has passed it’s as if we turned a page on the book of Andy that
we’ve not read before.
JoAnne added with pride “We could not or did not get to see as clearly as his friends did how giving and how loved he was.” Len added “How good he was and how loving he was to others is what we are proud of. We’ve really discovered that Andy had become the kind of man we wanted him to be – he was kind, loving and loved by others.” JoAnne continued, “After all, I was there on the day the doctors shared with Andy that he might not survive the heart surgery. I saw Andy make between 15-20 calls that day. He was calling his closest friends, telling them not to worry, asking for prayers and telling them he loved them. It was so heartbreaking to listen as he made them but at the same time I was never more proud of Andy than that day. Those calls made a huge impact on all who received them.”
I know firsthand about those calls – I was blessed enough to receive one.
“I
might not make it” – Andy calls to say goodbye
Father’s
day weekend Len visited Andy in Nashville and left to come back home.
I was driving on my way home on June 17th when I got a text from Len
“Call when you’re not driving” – I got home and immediately
called Len. He asked if I could take a call from Andy and I said of
course, unsure of what I would hear.
Andy
called me and said. “Hey man – what’s up” It was Andy’s
universal greeting. I said not much. What’s up with YOU? Andy
shared that he had some significant fluid built up around his heart
and he wasn’t even sure if the thoracic surgeon would do the surgery
because he might not survive it due to his Leukemia. Andy told me
that he asked the doctor what would happen if he didn’t have the
surgery. The answer was that he probably wouldn’t survive for more
than a few days. He told me ”I just wanted to tell you that I love
you man.” He told me to be sure to stay connected with Len (I
promised I would) and if he didn’t make it he wanted me to know he
loved me. Wow … I was heartbroken, devastated almost speechless and
such a sobbing mess that I’m not sure he could understand anything
that I said back to him. On the other end of the line, Andy was calm.
I said goodbye, walked to the front porch, stared at the rolling
hills with the sun shining on them and cried, then sobbed. It was a
tough night. But God willing, Andy DID make it. He did survive and
some would say even thrived after his heart surgery. He wasn’t out of
the woods, he had too much fluid buildup from the surgery and he had
lost so much strength but he was alive and he was on the mend. And if
you asked Andy – there was a plan to get better and eventually get
home. I believed him completely.
“Can
I call you?” – My last call with Andy
The week of my
birthday I received a text from Len asking if I could stop by. Andy
had a birthday gift for me and wanted Len to make sure I got it. I
stopped on my way home from work and talked with Len for a bit.
Andy was
always so thoughtful. Here he was lying in a hospital bed in
Nashville, worried about my birthday. I thought one of the best ways
to say thanks without being with him was a quick photo. I asked Len
to pose with me for a selfie out in their dining room. We both shot
Andy an ear to ear grin while I held the phone and the very cool
Judge Dredd model he had bought me. A photo record of Andy putting
others ahead of himself and being the ultimate poster child of what a
friend should be
I got a text
from Len on September 17th
asking if I could come over to their house and do something to Andy’s
pinball machines for him. I said “Sure” I would be happy to. Len
said something about free-play and I knew what was needed and knew it
wouldn’t take long.
While there,
Len got Andy on a face time call and handed me the phone. It was nice
to be able to see Andy even if I wasn’t there physically. We talked
for probably around 15 minutes about pinball and his health and a few
other things. I told him I got his games all set to free-play and
even turned the camera on the phone around so he could see his games
turned on and working. I even felt a little guilty doing it seeing
that he couldn’t even play them. So before I held up the phone, I
asked if he wanted to see them – he said that of course he did.
After Andy and
I hung up, Len shared with me that “Andy really brightened up”
when he heard your voice. “I could tell” I said. I was surprised
that a short conversation could have that big of an impact but Len
assured me that it did. I took me about 2 seconds to process and I
said to Len “I’m going to call him more often” followed by “Are
you sure that won’t bother him while he’s in the hospital?” Len
said he would love to get the calls. I said my goodbyes to Len and
made a mental note to call Andy again the following week.
About a week
went by and I sent Andy a text “Can I call you?” just to make
sure he was not in the middle of a procedure. He said “Sure thing”.
So at 12:46PM on October 2nd,
I called Andy and we spoke for exactly 18 minutes. As always he was
so optimistic. We talked pinball, Oakley sunglasses and when he might
be able to come home for a while. I am so glad I made that call.
I couldn’t know it at the time, but it would be the last time we
would speak.
“Jesus
in my homeboy” – Andy’s faith
JoAnne
revealed that “When Andy was christened in 1980 it was with water
from the actual Jordan River. I always told Andy that he was special
because he was baptized with the same water that Jesus was. Andy was
never in serious trouble in high school but he did hang with a rough
crowd – but he was connected with them in order to rehabilitate
them. In hindsight, I think Andy’s job here on earth was to be a
positive messenger for God without being preachy or religious.” I
asked JoAnne if she could see God working in their lives even in
Andy’s illness. She replied “Oh yes, when Andy got sick I did not
have a job, I was blessed that I could spend time with Andy every
day. When Andy was forced to move to Vanderbilt, we wondered how we
would manage living in Nashville for an extended time period. By the
grace of God we had a good friend with a house very near Vanderbilt –
it even came with a special private guest entrance. She offered it to
me with no strings attached. I stayed as her guest for months and was
able to care for Andy with little worry to the amount of money I
might be spending on housing.”
JoAnne
went on to share her insights into Andy’s faith. “His faith grew
as his sickness intensified. Andy was never angry at God and told
JoAnne that “if it was gods will to heal him, he would be happy but
if not it was gods will”. JoAnne is convinced that Andy survived
the Heart surgery in order to touch even more people in the normal
“Andy way” Andy was in Junior High, in youth group when he
encountered Christ. He was there to hear a Vietnam vet speak on
salvation. Andy was emotionally touched by that story and accepted
Jesus as his savior. I interrupted JoAnne to let her know that I
thought Andy did an amazing job of living the gospel but not being
preachy to anyone. It was never his style. In fact, I was not sure of
Andy’s faith until I had known him for quite a while. I also shared
with Len and JoAnne something they had not seen. I found it while
perusing Andy’s Facebook page. If you clicked the “About” link
on his page it has one statement and says “I don’t go to church
but Jesus is my homeboy”. I held up my phone with Andys Facebook
page opened to that link and showed it to them. They both smiled ear
to ear and if you are a person of faith, you know why.
This was
the last in my series of questions for the Henderson’s. I finished up
the interview and Tami and I said our goodbyes. I walked out to my
truck to begin the drive home and was halfway in the truck when I
noticed Andy’s black Nissan pickup sitting in the driveway. I had
seen that truck pull into my driveway many times. Now I would not. I
impulsively jumped out of my truck, walked to the front where my
headlights were illuminating Andy’s Nissan and snapped a picture. Not
sure why, maybe preserving another little piece of Andy. One more
moment frozen in time using an image. It made me sad.
Page back Click to continue to part 9 – Andy passes