Andy – part 3

“It’s
for Ida” – Andy’s attitude

From the
beginning Andy always had a plan and a positive outlook to help him
carry it out. He would say “This is the situation, this is what I
need to do to get better and yes, I’m making progress”. Andy
treated everyone the same way in the hospital – he was courteous –
to all. He would never complain. Never, not once. Not even once.
During the toughest time, right after his lung surgery, he had 4
tubes coming out of him to drain fluids, he had a port with IVs, a
catheter installed, and oxygen tube and he said “I can’t get
comfortable” – that’s it. That’s as close to complaining that
Andy ever got. Ask yourself how you would deal with that after a
month and a half and all that hardware hanging off you. Andy would
interact with his care team every day. He did not want any of them to
ever go out of their way. He would purposefully collect trash/tissues
and put them in a convenient area so his caregivers could clean up
easier. It seemed his mission was to brighten THEIR day, not the
other way around. Andy would be considerate of the workload that his
caregivers had. He would wait his turn or even tolerate pain longer
than he should have in order to not be a bother to the nurses. There
was one thing though that Andy would find ways to share with his
nurses. Andy was always willing and proud to show off his rose
tattoo. He would show the nurses and say “It’s for Ida – the
anvil is for strength and rose is a symbol for Ida-Rose, my little
girl”

“I’m
going to run away” – Andy’s childhood

JoAnne made the connection as only a Mom can “Andy started life the same way he left – with cables and wires hanging off him. She shared the story of what happened to Andy just after he was born. Andy was still in the hospital a few days after his birth. One of the attending nurses turned to check on him and was shocked to see that he was blue in color. Reacting quickly, she was able to revive him. He was now considered at-risk for what was then known as“crib-death”, so he was sent home with equipment to monitor his breathing and heartbeat. Poor Len had built a beautiful cherry wood English cradle in preparation for his son’s arrival home and because of the specialized equipment needed to monitor little Andy the cradle couldn’t be used. Len tells the story of watching Andy to make certain he was breathing properly and whenever the “alarm went off” he would control his panic as Andy “took his time”taking the next breath.” It was several long months before they felt out of the woods. As Andy grew it was clear he was going to exercise his will and push the envelope if he could. JoAnne says that his MO was always the same “If Andy didn’t like something he would say I hate you and then threaten to run away. On an almost weekly basis, the threat would be made real as he would start to walkaway from the house in any random direction. JoAnne knew the drill “I would then jump in the car, notify the neighbors and eventually chase him down.” “On the last occasion, I didn’t chase him and it wasn’t too long before little Andrew showed back up on the front porch complaining that I hadn’t chased him. It was the last time he ran away”

“Oh
lord!” – Teenager Andy

I skipped
ahead to Andy’s teenage years and asked Len and JoAnne if they were
challenging. The instant response was “Oh – lord” … “Andy
sure was willful. He tended to hang around with the heavy metal
“rough and tough” crowd. He would wear leather, spikes and
earrings. He was also the same teen that would complain to Mom that
he wanted to be able to help people but they would be put-off by how
he dressed. He said to his Mom “I want people to judge me by my
behavior NOT how I look” – JoAnne would reply “But Andy –
you’ll scare them before they get to know you”. Andy eventually
ditched the spikes and leather in favor of a softer more approachable
look.

JoAnne
shared a cute story related to one of Andy’s favorite things –
Horror films. Andy grew up during the period when many families
rented VHS movies and most had an account to charge movies to. Andy
would rent horror flicks (on Moms account) and bring them home where
mom and dad did not approve. JoAnne said with a big smile on her face
“So I shut off the ability to rent Horror tapes … and when Andy
found out, he lost it and used words that 16 years old teens are not
allowed to use. He stormed out of the house and drove off. Didn’t
change my mind – the horror embargo continued. 20 minutes later,
Andy came back and apologized to me for yelling and cussing –
although he still complained that it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t
rent those movies!”

“He
had Sinatra in his truck!” – Andy’s favorite things

Andy
enjoyed normal foods like junk food, tacos and burritos. He also
loved ethnic dishes that are hard to find in Knoxville – like
shepherd’s pie. He was also a NY Pizza connoisseur (see Blake
interview). He loved Punk and Metal music the most. One of his
favorite bands was the Dropkick Murphy’s a Celtic punk band most
famous for the song “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” that was used in
the 2006 Academy Award winning best picture film ”The Departed”.
Len and JoAnne would have none of that punk stuff. “We tried to
avoid most of the stuff that he listened to”. Len went on to add
“But Andy did have Frank Sinatra and some Jazz in his truck too.”
Such was the complexity and wide curiosity of Andrew Henderson. I
guess the variety shouldn’t have been a surprise. Andy played the
electric guitar and played well enough to hold his own in a band when
called upon to sit in. His basement apartment included a nice amp set
and a reserved spot nearby where you could always find his guitar in
its case leaning against the wall. Andy loved music.

“That’s
a 6 beer ditch” – Andy moves to Knoxville

In 2009 Andy moved to Knoxville.  He was lonely. He was also really struggling with losing so many of his friends to drug addiction. He was also by himself in an apartment. He told his mom and dad that it probably wouldn’t be good for him to stay up in New Hampshire and he was planning to head in their direction. Mom and Dad thought it was a wise decision and supported Andy in the move. He had only been in Knoxville a few weeks when he met his future boss, Tom. Each of them was taking private guitar lessons from the same music teacher. They hit it off right away and Tom offered Andy a job. Tom runs and owns an excavation business. Andy and Tom liked the work and they enjoyed each other’s company as well.

At the time they had contracts to excavate for geothermal installs. As Tom tells it “We were digging ditches 8′ deep and as much as a hundred feet long. On day 2 of the dig, we had plenty of help and Andy wasn’t needed so I sent him home. Right after Andy left, another friend of mine showed up and brought me a pack of crackers and a 6 pack of beer. There was no cooler, and no ice so I did the only thing I could– I drank it. I would drink a beer, dig for a bit, toss the can in the ditch and repeat the process until I was finished with the ditch.There was no planning or premeditation – I just did it.” Andy arrived the next morning to find the ditch dug and a row of neatly placed beer cans in the bottom of it. Tom stood quietly by as Andy walked along the edge wondering what he was up to. Tom recalls“Suddenly Andy ran to his truck, grabbed his tape measure and without warning jumped into the ditch. I yelled at him to get his butt out of that ditch!” Tom knew that an 8′ deep unsupported ditch can be very dangerous. He watched as Andy began to methodically measure the exact distance between each beer can using his tape measure. He discovered that Tom had an uncanny ability to place a can every 25 feet as he dug. They had a big laugh over Andy’s unique insight and Tom’s strange skill. From that day forward, when asked by a client how long it might take to excavate Andy always answered the same way “Based on the length, that’s a 24 beer ditch.” Andy even impacted the people he worked for in a deeper way than others typically do. Before I could finish my interview with Tom he spontaneously added “I miss him. I miss Andy. I miss his incredible sense of humor. He was a great guy. He loved God. He loved his parents and he certain loved his daughter – Andy was the best friend I ever had”

“I’ve
got Ida!” – Andy’s Daughter

Andy met
Ida’s mom and after dating for a while, they moved in together in
the Peterson road house. Eager to know each other better, they took a
few fun trips together as new couples often do. One of those trips
was to Las Vegas. Shortly after returning from Vegas, Andy found he
was going to be a Father. He was over the top thrilled. Ida was born
in February of 2014. She was born premature and unfortunately at the
very same time that Andy had the flu. He was not allowed to see her
for 10 days until his flu symptoms cleared up. Andy was overwhelmed
with how little and delicate she was. Andy immediately put Ida as a
top priority. Ida was in the hospital for another 6 weeks.

The new
family lived together for around a year on Peterson road in West
Knoxville. He was a proud dad who showed off Ida to everyone he knew.
Even as his friend it was crystal clear where Ida ranked – at the
top. Didn’t matter if he or I wanted to play some Pinball that night,
if Andy had Ida, she took precedence and his answer was always the
same “Oh, I’m sorry man, I can’t – I’ve got Ida tonight.” and you
just knew in the way he said it that he was happy about her being
with him, NOT disappointed that he couldn’t play Pinball.

“I’ll
do it later” – Andy moves in the basement

Andy and Ida’s Mom decided to split up. They stayed friendly. It was best for Ida and they both wanted the best for her. Andy asked Len and JoAnne if he could move back home in November of 2014. Len was worried about having Andy back in the house and was quickly and pleasantly surprised. He smiled and said “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” “Really the only thing we worried about was that he was always be bringing home new friends with no regard for their background or history. He just trusted people.” But the blessings outweighed the negatives: Like having Ida around, like Andy helping with electronics and shoveling snow that east Tennessee would get on rare occasions. If you asked him to do something he would always say “I’ll do it later”, but it would eventually get done. The holidays were extra special just having Andy around. Each year he would help Len get the huge Henderson 3 piece Christmas tree out of storage and set up for Christmas. Andy was so social that he would rarely just stay at his parents home for that whole day – he loved to leave partway through the day to visit Ida’s mom’s family too and enjoy the company with her extended family. It was not unusual for Andy to have 2 Thanksgiving dinners and several Christmases too.

Page back          Click to continue to part 4  – Andy Taught Himself